Where Does An Experience Begin or End?
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Jan Cox Talk 107, May 3, 1984, runtime 1:25
Notes by TK
There is a flow going on–inexplicable at the ordinary level of consciousness. There is a tempo, a more gradual omnidirectional movement at which things work on a level not connected with human consciousness but which human consciousness reacts to with apparent urgency and immediacy (e.g., “goddammit” exclamation when carpenter hits thumb with hammer) (remember the reactionary turbulence of the wave example). There is no cause and effect as understood by human consciousness.
Why did the word “experience” come about? What purpose in Life does such a concept serve? Where does an “experience” begin and where does it end? Anticipation and memory of event must be included. But this is not the way ordinary consciousness understands and uses “experience” so why is this so? How do you know when you’ve had an experience? Why is there the need to remember an “experience?” To relate it in conversation with/ to others?
Cannot do any particular thing with your whole being–must be a resisting factor or there can be no living triad.
Why are the so-called creative people, i.e. artists, almost exclusively involved with D matters? How can this be? What is going on?
Instant ease and need, a kind of satisfaction to immediately oppose the new. Can you not be a resisting force? Try it.
Evolution of circuits for control–each comprehending the lower. e.g. blue over red, yellow over blue: control of the animal (religion), understanding of blue by yellow (psychology). Idea of the fall from grace = fall from red circuit to the blue to the yellow. Red circuit has no questions: immediate simple existence. No need for blue and yellow. A quietude, comfort in the red circuit. The “Fall” is up!!
There is a Primal Flow (PF). You can feel it. Examples of differing sizes of same species oak trees, intraspecies snail development. Example of phototropism of plants (Red Circuit -level of intelligence). Intelligence = particular charge of a circuit. Yellow Circuit intelligence = the bending, reaching, growing of consciousness toward the sun (new energy) = Life growing thru man.
Express no displeasure towards things. Don’t ever tell yourself what you are going to do, i.e. ‘I’m not going to eat salt for a week,’ etc. But can be used just the opposite for profit: talk to yourself about “should do’s” and “problems” but out loud and in a fictitious manner (but let no one hear you–no one!).
WHERE DOES AN EXPERIENCE BEGIN OR END?
AND, FALLING UP
Document: 107, May 3, 1984
Copyright (c) Jan M. Cox, 1984
Man cannot ordinarily see that every occurrence of which consciousness can take note is intimately tied to everything else within the Grid of Life: it has no other recourse than to feel as though, “What I am responding to is the immediate experience that is now occurring.” It is not that ordinary consciousness is incorrect in such response, but everything in the Grid — the whole fabric of Life — is intertwined and interconnected. Nothing can exist in isolation. Ordinary consciousness cannot See this.
Try and picture a rolling wave, such as one would see on the oceans of this planet. On top of the wave there is foam, the “whitecaps”. Even as the wave curls and runs to the beach the whitecap is in a state of greater agitation than the body of the wave below it. This part, the part that seems to be in a state of greater agitation, I can liken to human consciousness. In my picturization, note that there are at least two levels below the agitated white water: the wave itself, and the oceans, which in a sense are a non-moving constant. As with everything I can present to you in the three-dimensional world of words, this description is not literally true. You must See the reality of what I am describing for yourself.
Note that ordinary consciousness cannot make “heads or tails” of history, current events, or relationships between differing peoples. There is no correct explanation of human events at the ordinary level, because what is taking place appears to be a reaction to, or appears to be tied to, an immediate occurrence. Only on the level of the whitecaps does that perception hold water. You should have a feel, and not just an intellectual sensation, that what appears to be happening in your personal life, in the life of this country, and in the life of humanity, is part of a continual flow.
At the ordinary level there is no available information that can in any way begin to explain the flows of history. The Yellow Circuit has attempted to create theories to “explain” the growth or decline of nations or the “movement of history”. Yet for every “explanation” there is an opposite “explanation” which to ordinary consciousness appears equally as valid. It is not that such discourse does not have its place in the growth of Life. Quite the contrary. But at the ordinary level there is no understanding of the large, and relatively speaking, gradual movement occurring. There is a tempo at which things work on other levels not connected directly to human consciousness.
With apparent human affairs, the more personal the affair, the more you feel the need to respond directly. Hitting your thumb with a hammer will bring about, without any debate, a more instantaneous response than will news of an imminent collapse of a foreign nation’s economy — even if you are of that nation’s ancestry and have kept up with the state of affairs in that country. There will simply be a greater reactionary turbulence at the immediate level of personal experience. Your consciousness responds less quickly to that which is apparently further removed from you. I assure you that as close as your parents may seem to be to you, you’ll respond faster to hitting your thumb with a hammer than you will to news that your mother is sick. You will also respond quicker to news of your mother’s health than you will to news of Albania’s economic decline.
I am trying to get you to Neuralize the way in which Life is arranged and has been growing through Man, i.e., the manner in which the Grid has been moving. Although it might appear that the direct effect of a girl walking past the job site is a hammer applied to the thumb of a distracted carpenter, or that his “damn” is an effect of the hammer hitting said thumb, there is no cause and effect therein which human consciousness can properly perceive. Ordinary consciousness assumes that a Straight Line Phenomenon is possible, and is wont to say that “one thing causes another”. You can push such consciousness to trace a lineage of causes, but it leads nowhere. It is not a question of going back further to an ultimate first cause of anything, nor even a question of taking into account numerous “causes” in your assessment of any situation or event. All of those are still merely attempts to see reality in terms of Straight Line Phenomena.
You have to be able to feel that this whole Grid, this Great Machine, is an actual living being; that everything — insofar as words can convey — is affecting everything else, yet nothing is causing anything. If, at the instant the carpenter in my example hit his thumb he yelled “damn!”, his response is not in truth a response to that act. It is the agitation capping the wave. It is the immediate apparent urgency that hits human consciousness and its affairs. Forget your internal voices that say: “There are environmental dynamics involved which caused the carpenter to be what he is, to have an interest in pretty girls, and a penchant for cursing”. If that is the case, then where did the environment come from? If you have further voices which conclude I am only talking about the old idea of an almighty being, you have missed it again. You are back wandering in the illusory world of Straight Line Phenomena. There is more to the waves than just the whitecap: There is the gradual, omni-directional movement of Life itself, below the agitation.
I am going to mention something related to my encouragement for you to start your own nonverbal dictionary. Remember, I am not playing with words, and what I am about to tell you is not any kind of verbal game. You should be asking yourself in a nonverbal, non-cause-and-effect manner, “What needs are being met in Life that Man has come up with this concept behind this word?” I am going to mention a particular example, but I am in no way limiting your investigation into this area.
Everyone uses and hears others use the word “experience”. People say, “I had an experience”. One person will ask “Have you ever seen or done such-and-such?” and another will say, “Yes, I have had that experience”. What is going on? (This is not verbal game.) Why is it necessary for one human to apparently convey to another human that, “I have been through such-and-such” or that, “such-and-such has occurred in me to the point that I can label it ‘an experience'”?
In ordinary conversation, there is the sensation that when a person says, “I have had that experience”, arriving at a kind of resting place in the transfer of energy. It is a direct, satisfying, positive response. But what is “an experience”? Is an experience an act that in some way could be isolated and verbally described as “beginning at one point and ending at another”? Beyond the verbal parameters that you may use in delineating your experience, when does the actual experience literally begin and end?
One could say, “I always wanted to parachute out of an airplane, then one day I did it.” Did the experience begin when you jumped out of the door, or did it begin with the first thought you ever had of parachuting? Was thinking about parachuting part of the total experience? Was the end of the experience when you safely hit the ground? But then what about your continuing memory of the experience? When you see someone else jump out of a plane in a movie, or when you tell someone of your experience twenty years later, would it be untrue to say that your experience is still going on?
I remind you that this is not some kind of verbal game. Ordinary consciousness does not perceive and use the word “experience” even in the linear two-dimensional manner I have just sketched, i.e., of the “experience” beginning at least as far back as the first time you ever had a reaction to hearing about parachuting and continuing twenty years later to right now, with the memory of the experience. So what is going on? What is it that ordinary consciousness seems to mean by “experience”? What purposes are being served by the word meaning something less that the extremes I have drawn out? How do you know that you have had “an experience”? At the ordinary level there is no question about whether “I had an experience” or not. It is something that can be felt and described; something that has a beginning and an end to it. It is something that can be wrapped up in a word — “experience” — or a few words — “I have experienced that of which you speak.”
There is a very specific and not so specific need being met by Man being driven to have concepts such as: “I had an experience.” It is tied to an internal clock. There is a timing mechanism related to “having an experience”. Bypassing any apparently psychological investigations or interpretations, there is something quite real — electrical, chemical, and atmospheric — in Man being driven to say, “I have had that experience”. Specific kinds of energies are being transferred between people that have nothing to do with parachuting per se (or whatever the discussion is about).
There is an absolute difference between the system that seems to be you, jumping out of an airplane, and what you call “the experience of it”. The labelled “experience” is not what happened. Why the need to transfer the information “I have done that”? Why the need to have that kind of Yellow Circuit memory? (In some cases the memory is even lower — “When I think of jumping out of that plane my little heart beats faster”).
Your system is continually responding, whether overtly or not, to the memory of experience, or to the desire to “have an experience” that you see someone else “have”. It can of course also respond in a negative manner: “Boy, what a phony experience…shame on people that try to pawn such-and-such off as the real thing”.
What is going on, as usual, is a part of what keeps everyone from changing. But surely, you would not be so foolish as to conclude that additional ammunition for your pursuit of This Thing is to have no experiences. It couldn’t be true, could it, that the trick to This Thing is to have no more experiences? Just for a foolish moment, what if I agreed that there is some validity to that, but it is not that one must lay down in a dark closet and never move. It is not the lack of doing, but rather the lack of ever having an “experience” that is the key. You would be like a person with a very extensive book of memories, but when you opened it up, the pages would be blank — or else the writing would be such gibberish that no one else could translate it. There couldn’t be any connection between all of this and having no past, could there?
Why is it that so-called “creative people” — composers, artists, writers — use D-based material almost exclusively as their subject matter? Life has a reason to make humanity refer to certain people and their activities as being “creative”. Yet, as far as words will allow, what such people are about is almost exclusively D-related. Life has not made a mistake. I have not caught Life in a faux pas; what might be going on?
Connected to that, have you tried to Neuralize what I have pointed out to you previously, that there is an immediate ease and even a kind of satisfaction to immediately opposing anything new? You may even try a new approach: “Starting right now, I will attempt to do only that which is non-resistant. I will try to do only the new and unexpected.” If that seems an extreme verbal proposition, then try something less extreme: “I will attempt not to be a resisting force.” To say the very least, there is difficulty not only in the execution of such resolutions, but in even conceiving of where to begin. Try and compose a piece of non-resisting, non oppressive music. Write a song with lyrics not dependent upon, and drawn from, D-force affairs. You can pick out parts of a famous five hundred page novel, or of a symphony, which do not seem to be D-based, but still, that which is called a “creative endeavor” is for the most part ordinarily working for — guess who?
You are your own living laboratory. One of the best starting points in Neuralizing ordinary creativity and D-force is to consider the fact that in you there is an immediate, instantaneous satisfaction in responding in a negative and resistant fashion to that which is new to your system. It has nothing to do with a failing on your part, or with “psychological/environmental influences”. It cannot be thought about or analysed, but it is nevertheless going on continually. You look at a billboard with this season’s new fashions, or turn on the radio in your car and hear the first few bars of the new number one song in the country, and your system responds, “Good grief…you must be joking”. There is an immediate resistance within yourself, and you apparently have no alternative. Try and do otherwise.
If you are very astute, you can catch another angle from which to Neuralize all of this. You may think that the new number one song in the country is based in C Force, yet you see that older people respond to it with a resistant reaction. You may think that a composer who is working for C Force could not also be working for D Force. But if you change your view and the “electrical charge” on your perspective, you could also say that the new song was actually based in D Force as evidenced by peoples’ resistance upon hearing it. Could there be a fallacy in your conception of what the Forces are up to?
You say: “There is no doubt that under some conditions I can See that which is resisting — I can see D force. Surely, a new idea has got to be closer to C Force.” Don’t be too sure! Remember, there is something lacking with any kind of knowledge that can only encompass one or two perspectives. Until you See something, in the sense that you no longer have any question, remember to punctuate with commas. Place no periods on your considerations.
I have spoken of a kind of connection between the circuits, and of a kind of real evolution which has proceeded in Man. Each circuit has the need to comprehend and to control the circuits below it. Numerous religious stories and teachings speak about how Man has fallen from paradise; fallen from grace, fallen from a superior condition to his present poor state. That was true 5000 years ago when it was said and it is as true today. But I want you to Neuralize it with a slightly different twist: the fall from paradise into this almost “living Hell” is a fall upward. It is a fall upward in the sense that Man has fallen from the mute quietude and certainty of the Red Circuit into a world of more complex, inspecific purposes — the higher circuits.
I am not giving a psychological view or any ordinary explanation of mythology. This is something quite real that still affects everyone today. Regardless of whether someone is “religious”, or whether he even knows the mythological tales, there is a sympathetic vibration built into the nervous system which strikes many people when they hear these sayings about falling from paradise. The reaction was extant 5000 years ago, and it is still alive today, a condition at the Red Circuit level of mute, safe, quiet certainty. The Red Circuit does not debate how many angels can dance on the hood of a Buick.
To use general examples from the cinema, Red Circuit heroes — gun slinging, tight-lipped men of action — do not sit around discussing the possible nature of good and evil. There is no time, need or hunger for such characters to be concerned with such ideas. They don’t suddenly pull a gun on someone whom they are about to shoot, and have second thoughts, or stop to discuss the opposing views of the culprit. (I am not talking about characters in the cinema; they are archetypes of characters in you.) If you can stretch your awareness beyond the two and three dimensional realm of words and Yellow Circuit picturizations, you can sense what I am pointing toward — the comfort, safety, quietude at the Red Circuit level as the basis of the stories of a past paradise. But remember, the fall is upward.
What still lingers in you and vibrates sympathetically to such stories is the feeling that you have gone from something superior (the certainty of the Red Circuit) to a realm in which things are not so clear-cut (the higher circuits). It seems that your life is an almost endless debate over what to do next and what might be the likely source of your problems etc. If we were all operating exclusively from the Red Circuit level, there would be no debate over “The Meaning of Life”. The Red Circuit cannot be involved in such a debate, nor have such an interest. At that level you would not be wondering about answers, because you would have no questions.
The fall has gone upward. (And you certainly don’t want to go back to where the Blue Circuit has the upper hand — that would be like a bad dream.) Now, with the Yellow Circuit at the highest level, at the temporary cutting edge of human development, the ordinary feeling is that things are more complex; that, “There are no longer any standards of immediate right and wrong.” You can Neuralize this non-specificity of purpose in light of the fact that nothing in Life is wasted. Life is not running amuck. Life is not engaged in foolish efforts. The things the Yellow Circuit is being driven to analyze, talk about, and name (such as “guilt”, “failure”, “the stressful human condition”) are not non-specific. They only appear as such to ordinary consciousness. To ordinary consciousness, it is all so complex, without rhyme or reason. But when you get above common awareness it becomes very clear and very specific.
The Yellow Circuit cannot comprehend that part of its purpose is to see things as complex and debatable, and as having non-specific purposes. Ordinary people think surely they are not simply here to suffer. They believe they must develop themselves personally to where they are no longer subject to foolish sexual guilt or social discomfort. But the very things that seem to be negative attributes of “my personality” (as you ordinarily would call it) are not negative attributes. Ordinary consciousness refers to problems as though they are warts on one’s personality, when in fact the warts are the personality.
Remember, that which appears to be operating in an agitated and apparently more turbulent manner is only the whitecap on the wave. There are areas, below and beyond, which are operating at another speed than that which appears to be the immediate problem of a particular wart. “This scar on my personality” is not something immediate; however, ordinary consciousness must respond as though it were.
Someone sent me a note that referred to the existence of an “actual flow of things”. There are things continually surrounding you which ordinary consciousness is not prepared or constructed to ponder or to learn from. It cannot even be conscious of such things in any meaningful manner. What I am now going to mention touches on realms beyond the ordinary limits of consciousness.
I want you to Neuralize what I have described as the Primal Flow. Who can sit in the back yard and look around and simultaneously hold in their consciousness all of what I am about to say? In front of you stands a tree. It is 31 feet and 11 inches tall with 247 branches, and 60,321 leaves. It has grown from a little acorn. Fifty-six feet away stands another tree of the same species as the first tree. It is 47 feet 2 1/2 inches tall and has 190 main branches. How did this scenario come about? What is behind this? There is one tree that grew to a certain height — no higher, no lower — and it has exactly x number of leaves. Some of the branches are full with leaves and some are partially full. Yet just 56 feet away stands the other tree, seemingly involved in something totally different.
There is no possible benefit for you to somehow try to find an “answer” to my question. Whatever is the immediate response from your internal voices, you have thought it before. You can learn nothing new from that. It is even difficult to remember that ordinary consciousness cannot even conceive of such questions. But you have heard questions such as this all of your life and always your system responds in either a positive or a resisting manner. Try and Neuralize what could possibly be going on, that a tree only puts on a certain amount of leaves and only a certain amount of limbs.
There is a verbal way in which I could detail, as I have already done in bits and pieces, a radical omnipresence to the Life of Life. The reality behind my words is the same source which has driven Man to talk of “a higher level of order to the universe, beyond ordinary comprehension” and numerous other two-dimensional descriptions. All such descriptions are based upon the Straight Line Illusion, and they are becoming less and less valid. The whole level of consciousness of Man is finally moving beyond such descriptions. It has been a great gradual process. There is a reality to Man’s idea that it is an “All-Cosmic Force” that allows trees to only grow so high, that makes people reproduce only other people. But you must get beyond all ordinary descriptions, beyond that which is merely a reflection. There is a reality to that which I have termed for you “The Primal Flow”. You can feel that reality.
You have seen an ordinary house plant in a pot? It grows towards a window or skylight. It searches for the sun. I am not sketching anthropomorphic pictures for you, but at the Red Circuit level, that is intelligence. It is everywhere yet no one notices it. The house plant will keep growing towards the light until, under the right conditions, it may tip over its pot. From plants to animals to man, there is a kind of intelligence, a particular charge to all Circuits. You can feel it. I am not encouraging you to start having stranger dreams than your ordinary voices already have. Don’t lock yourself in a closet and hold your breath till you feel like you are getting in touch with the “Great Primal Flow”. There is no trick necessary in addition to what you are now.
Recall my description of the Wave Phenomena. There are waves that are apparently moving; on a smaller level, on top of those waves, is a higher degree of agitation: the whitecaps. Yet that which is the absolute source and support of the appearance of the waves and the whitecaps is the constant body of the oceans themselves. In a sense, the oceans do not move; they do not go anywhere. There is a no trick that can produce the Primal Flow. There is nowhere to look for it. The Primal Flow is you. It is in you, you are in it. And you can feel it. It is everywhere. The Primal flow is moving in a tempo frame on a level beyond ordinary consciousness. (There is nothing your ordinary consciousness can “teach” you that is of benefit from the perspective of This. I have told you quite correctly, if you have already thought something once, forget it. Even if what you had once thought was at that time true, it is no longer valid. To think the same thing twice is the sin of repetition.)
You can feel that there is a movement going on. You can See it in my description of the tree growing to 31 feet 11 inches with 247 branches. You can See it in my description of the plant searching for the sunlight. And you can See the same thing as it is manifested higher up in the Yellow Circuit — a continual bending toward and reaching for new energy. The Yellow Circuit of all of humanity is bending and reaching for new energy with no more Real Intelligence or self-motivation than the plant has on its own level — the Red Circuit level. Life is growing through Man.