Jan Cox Talk 0372

People Can’t Change

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AKS/News Item Gallery = jcap 1988-07-27 (0372)
Condensed AKS/News Items = see below
Summary = see below
Diagrams = None
Transcript = see below ( needs editing – Tneeded )


Summary

#372 * Jul 27, 1988 * – 1:23
Notes by TK

Kyroot to :07.

To grow, all organizations must expand, involving more nervous systems (people) whose energies are increasing devoted to strengthening the infrastructure of the organization rather than to the original purpose/aim of it. Ultimately all energy is focused on maps and methods. This arrangement supports the modern fact that nobody can work alone; it insulates from the purpose of the organization as well; also a facet of the say-hear duo. The “wrestling opponent” shifts from the wrong one (for Life) of the original aim to the right one of the structure of the organization.

For instance your childhood dream of accomplishment/achievement becomes structured to the extent that the structure insulates/drains energy from the action of the dream—being the accomplished. Everybody deals with the structure built around their dreams. It is the diversion of straight line energy into curving ones—the structure of Life—the heart of the bell-curve. One becomes acceptable to Life. Life uses diversion/insulation as a form of protection for itself.

Change is the most frightening thing in the world; death is the ultimate change–but the NS is designed to talk otherwise—that change is desirable and possible. Diversion of energy to Life’s structure is what counts for change, but its real purpose is to prevent sudden, surprising change—the most scary thing in the world. Thus City folks die before they die; they become predictable transfers of energy. Since the NS can talk about its original dream/aim, people don’t notice that they have become the very obstacle to that dream. Talk is part of that diversion of energy itself. 

1:23 end.

And Kyroot Said…

A Real Revolutionist is like the center of a circle that has
no circumference.

***

The only things a Man actually owns are those things that
have not yet been taken from him.

***

Another great City slogan I say: “No reasonable offer
accepted.”

***

Hear Ye, Oh, hear ye: Anyone who still does stuff that
hurts them, OR allows it, is no Revolutionist.

***

If you know how to read history in a certain fashion, it
tells you that the only good people are dominant people.

***

Don’t be a permanent chattel to ordinary life.

***

A Philistine’s idea of heaven is where no one has any more
talent than he. A Philistine’s notion of hell is where no
criticism is allowed.

***

The City’ll kill ya, and I mean DEAD!

***

If people who talk about “god” actually knew who/what they
were talking about, they wouldn’t talk about him. If there were
a god, like those people imagine, he wouldn’t want you to talk
about him. Really.

***

After all, in the City, People’s lives are what they
remember them to be.

***

If you don’t care how high some things may be, or how wide
some things are, or how deep other stuff may be, Life then
becomes an overlapping, deliciously complex symphony of Prince,
Pavarotti, Picasso, and rainbow salads.

***

Even though he might not be so delicate himself, the Real
Revolutionist would usually treat others as though they were.

***

Religions are armies without guns.

***

For City folks, if it SEEMS too hard, it IS too hard.

***

Another example of how energy will be moved in spite of what
mortal difficulties may appear impending; a woman with a cake in
her hands approaches some people engaged in moving and proclaims
her “welcome” to her new neighbors, who retort that they have
been her neighbors for the last four years, and are not moving
in, but moving out. “Well,” sez she, thrusting the cake still
towards them, “Bon voyage, we’re sure gonna miss you.”

***

A Man with no ordinary, City convictions can go far. Just
like the ability of a swimmer without cement trunks.

***

Being young once is probably not enough.

***

A City dude said, “The benefits of ‘singing your own
praises’ is that you know when to lay on the triple forte, and
where to pass by sotto voce, and above all, when to move right on
to the next verse.

***

Never quote a dead man, or repeat a living one.

***

You can count on this, that a City Person with no
outstanding habits, or vices is dull even to himself.

***

All human activity is an exchange.

***
There is a monstrously large statue of a frightfully naked,
and awesome figure standing with its face to the wall in a
deserted warehouse in Nicosia except no one knows where it came
from, and no one has ever seen it.

***

When you’ve graduated beyond simply bifocal sight, you
personally come upon the startling realization that INDEED,
everything basically indicates the existence of everything else.

***

And the young convoluted traveler cried out, “Dear Mother,
dear, Oh dear Mother. Do not today my trapeze wash, for on it a
splendid journey I now must take.”

***

Heard a fellow recently say, “The biggest problem with them
City poets is they tend to take every single little thing that
happens as ‘special,’ which I guess may or may not be justified,
but still… to take EVERY little thing and moment as being so…
oh, I don’t know. I guess City folks and poets have their own
little ways of doing things.”

***

Never trust a god who talks.

***

Is it not rare, whilst out of doors, to meet a true thinker?

***

Anything worth possessing is worth destroying. Anything
worth remembering is worth forgetting.

***

A truly wise king knows that he cannot legislate or dictate
human nature out of the People.

***

Those really frightened by City life are those you hear cry
out, “Whatever it is, put me down for two.”

***


Transcript

Preliminary Typing of transcript — not yet Revised.
J Ham–typed by CB–7-27-88—372
copyright 1988 Jan M. Cox

Beyond my little jokes, when I threw in religion and family,
I was going to take out now to try to jump you to real quick from
a man and his investments and even artists and their songs and
manuscripts….How about the things that seem to be even beyond
that?
In religion–for you newer people I don’t single out
religion. It’s not an attack. It’s just that religion in
general, back in the city, apparently has been involved, should
have been involved, seemed to be the purpose of their structures,
of this kind of activity, which they are not individually. So
that’s the only reason I’m going to that. That in the past and
even so today to some people whether it be organized religions or
some sort of spiritual cult–that would seem to be the place that
you would go to really do something extraordinary about yourself.
Either that or some psychological and the like, encounter groups
or–which is just, your still sort of the umbrella of– you can
put psychology/religion. That that’s where you think you would
go if you were trying to do something–expand your consciousness,
be more healthy, be more perceptive, to be something
extraordinary. That you’ve got to go join up with some guru or
some commune or maybe get into a church and see if they do not
have some mystical information hidden away somewhere.
You should be able to see after me spending this much time
leading up to this that anything that you can find to join that
actually has a post office box, there is a book about it…What
was the big one in Big Sur that started the…Esalen…that that
many people now historically would give that the credit in the
western world as being a kind of settling down or a kind of hands
on, hardwired approach to erstwhile metaphysics. Combining it
all with religion to really help people not just become un-
neurotic, but to become super sane.

They were still tied in with the drug culture at that time,
but those kind of organizations…what I’m trying to get you to
see..It’s not just religions. But any of those organizations if
they’ve got a post office, if you’ve ever heard of them, they’ve
got a place to write to, they’ve got books for sale, the thing is
in general, you can forget it.
Do you see how beautifully things are arranged? Because
what you’re going to have to deal with…you may be satisfied.
It is not an attack. But what you are going to deal with is the
structure.
You don’t join the Buddhist religion to become a
Buddhist. Not assuming that your nervous system somewhere down
the line, back when you were born and somewhere before you became
too adult and sane and insulated from yourself.
Let me say that somewhere you had this notion from
reading…it just seemed to vibrate even though you were born in
Tea Neck, New Jersey…You began to read aabout the life of
Buddha and some of the things that supposedly he said and some of
it at an early age it struck you as–“Jesus. I’m not Jewish.
I’m not Buddhist. I’m not Baptist. I don’t know how I ended up
here in New Jersey. But my nervous system….I’m a Buddhist!”
It’s too late. You may…there’s probably a Buddhist temple
by now, somewhere around Tea Neck. If not, you can find them in
the United States. You end up and you go join a Buddhist temple.
You become a Buddhist. You chant. You may change your dress.
You may talk to some of your friends. But you are going to end
up dealing with the structure of..now…Buddhism.
You got no choice. If it’s got a post office box. If it’s
got a structure at all…which it’s got to have to recruit
people. Even if they aren’t actively trying to prosthelitize, if
they’re just there for you to go join them, they got a structure.
We’ve got to turn the tape over. So you’ve got a couple of
seconds…those of you who want to mull the unbelievable beauty
of this all.
If you can find it, it ain’t it. And you can’t find it
unless you’ve got some kind of structure.
( Turn over the tape.
We’re back on line?
That’s up to date technical talk .
I heard that in a movie. Are we on line?
Even I know that’s low tech.
Least this strike any of you.. especially newer people as
being some way that I have picked out a crack in the general
structure of ordinary life….There is no crack. Nothing’s
wrong. I’m not a critic. I didn’t find some flaw.
Life as it is on the 3-D level, the observable level to
anybody…this kind of diversion…eventually… of energies into
a structure as opposed to the structure’s apparent original
purpose. If this were not true, life could not grow. There
would be no change.
People would have interests. Walking around nervous systems
known as people would have a certain interest and they would go
at it like a pit bull.
That–“All I want to do is…I want to be a poet! God knows
why. That’s all I want to do is write poetry.”
And you would write poetry and die writing poetry. Maybe
starve. Not all this fake starving that those women used to do
back in the 1800’s of going up into the attic and saying I’m
going to write poetry until I starve.” And hell they’re living
with their mother and father that sends them up food.
Don’t give me that… I’m talking about somebody that would
say I’m going to do so and so.
“I’m going to play baseball. That’s all I’m going to do, if
I have to play baseball all by my self.” And you would see this
guy, as I said, at the age of 45 out in his back yard.
Well, I don’t know how he would have a back yard…I guess
he would have to have a family…well, I guess he would have to
have a family that was rich enough to at least leave him a house
in some little trust fund. And there he’d be. He might weigh
ninety pounds. He’s living off of day old corn bread.
But he’s out there with his little bat. He’s… and…out
there with his little bony knees.. He’s got his little…you
know…Mets cap. And he’s out there every day still playing.
And calling out to his friends. Some of them have already
died. Or they’ave already gone on to business. And everyday he
goes out to the back door and he hollers..you know… Hubie!
Bubba! You guys going to come play?
Or..course I seldom really try to specifically speak for
women. My guess would be…this one little bit for women is all
their dreams about…”I’m going to marry” and they’v got a dream
about what they want. I guess we’d have about ninety nine
percent of the worlds population would be unmarried women.
That is–” I’m going to…I’m going to find mr. so and so
or…that’s it!” In other words they wouldn’t have settled for
you!
Think about it some other time!
It is a kind of diverting of what would appear to be the
intention of straight line energy. Which life cannot…I’ve said
this enough…and you should be able to see this out in
life…There is no such thing as a viable straight line.
That is not the way life operates. The only thing that
would look like a straight line would be to hook up an EKG
machine to you when you were deceased…or to your brain.
To varying degrees the energy that would seem to be you
individually or the energy that would seem to have been your
initial…your childhood interest that you may still have but
it’s been the interest that would seem to be a real part of the
individual you. Without exception they’re going to get diverted
somewhat.
Now those that apparently become a famous painter, writer,
general, politician, and they say it’s always been my dream which
if they told the truth…to some degree they’re all telling the
truth.
Other than that…which they’ve still got diverted some.
Trust me… I’m going into…it’s not even that important.
Other than that…Everybody else, there has to be a wide,
wide gap between your original, the original apparent degree and
feeling of your interest…and how it ends up once you reach the
age that you no longer need Playboy or that you’re a girl and you
no longer think, “Well, Mr. Right’s going to come around the
corner.” You realize Mr. Left will do. Whoever is next.
It is then that your energies turn to the structure of life.
You become what I have been referring to at times as middle
class, which is not a sociological, not an economic attack. It
is you become part of the great bell curve boobs. You become
ordinary. You settle down. You realize…being sane…you’re
supposed to. You finally realize.
Class reunion. Tenth reunion and several people rush up to
you: ” God, I remember you. Those nice poems you wrote back for
the school paper, and etcetera. I bet you’re a writer. I bet
you are.”
And you go. “Gee, God, I tried. I did but…you
know…First thing you remember ole So-and-so. That girl I used
to go with over from, uh, North Central.”
” Yeah.”
” Well, we got married six months after school. And first
thing you know we had a kid. I went into advertizing for awhile.
I was writing copy, right. So I was trying to keep my hands in
it.”
And then he begins to mumble.
It is a form of protection in Life itself. You become
acceptable to Life in the middle of the bell curve. Do you no
longer…
Course here’s a place where my current description of this
as a revolution is very appropos…
You are no longer rebellious to any dangerous degree. And
we are certainly… I am certainly not talking about serial
murders, and people that jump off of buildings and…we’re not
talking when I say rebellious…we’re not talking about that.
What we’re talking about is that you have become insulated
from what your original interests were. Your energies are no
longer being devoted to what seemed to be your initial interest
and they are now being devoted primarily to the structures of
Life itself.
That you now take it seriously. Now that you’ve grown up.
You now take it seriously. Being a Christian. Being Catholic.
Being…I..”I’m taking my family back, we now do temple after all
these years.”
” And I’m finally Republican. My father… I used to curse
him, but now, by God, I realize how we need that kind of solid
conservatism. Especially in the economic areas. And so yes, I’m
a Republican.”
” And, uh, yes believe it or not, I do, uh, contribute some
money to environmental causes because I am very concerned about
my little ones and their life.”
You are now what Life needs. You are now a trooper. You
are now part of the palace guards. You are no longer any danger
to Life. You are no longer any possible disruption. Do you
understand?
And I’m sure that many people that don’t write me or people
that just hear some of this from out of town on these tapes have
taken, in the past, my attacks…my statements about how people
can’t change…
I don’t need anybody to write me and tell because I can
speak for you: People just absolutely can not hear that. Just
absolutely.
For me to say people do not change…your nervous system at
the ordinary level just absolutely dismisses that. It probably
doesn’t even take the time to accuse me of engaging in hog wash
or being deluded.
It is just so patently…even non-verbally
incorrect…there’s no reason to even argue with it. It’s just
not true. People do change. People can change.
Change is the most frightening thing, the most dangerous
thing in the world.
Even psychology, the last decade or so…I keep running
across this list that they keep trying to revise. That somebody
or some group—I’m sure it wasn’t somebody—it was some group
at some fine university did great investigative research and
interviews. And they came up with this progressive list. And
they gave points to what was the greatest traumas in life.
Now I think the first one was death of your spouse. And
after interviewing thousands and thousands of people.
If you want an aside , how about that for a structure…you
start off to be a psychologist–“I want to help people.”
Course I could point out that everybody who wants to be a
psychiatrist and a psychologist, their initial thing is : “God, I
wish I could help me.”
That, some of you might take it as a cheap shot, especially
if you are a psychiatrist. As far as clerics, we won’t even go
into that.
At any rate those people…they spend ten years and they
interview twenty million people and they come up and on the scale
a ten is the death of a spouse. Loss of a job is like a nine.
Moving to a new location is an eight. This sort of thing. Death
of a child is seven or…whatever. Wrecking your
Ferrari…alright.
The only reason I went off this little track for a
second..what I wanted you to get you to see…probably some of
you heard that and read it. Your attention gets dragged to this ,
if you found it interesting at all. And you get insulated from
it. You start dealing with the structure. And you’re supposed
to, as you start thinking about…..
Well, alright. Let’s see the comparison between losing your
spouse. And you might sit there while drinking your coffee in the
morning. You have nothing else to do. You might think: “Now I
don’t really agree. Perhaps I’m not in the main stream of life.
But you know, I believe losing my job. I don’t think that would
be number nine. I think losing my job would be like a number
seven.”
Do you see that all that is talking about one thing? It’s
change. That’s the stress. Forget the rest of the descriptions.
I don’t mean that it doesn’t have any personal validity to
you of losing your job or having to move to a new locale because
of your occupation or losing your mate. I don’t mean it has no
significance whatsoever, but everything that they name about
these various kinds of stress and trying to compare them.
They’re all about one thing. Do you see it?
It’s simply change. Change is the most stressful thing in
the world once you get old enough to pass for being mature. Once
your nervous system has about insulated itself. Once your
nervous system is ignited as it was intended to be. It’s
generally referred to as your’re more or less grown.
After that your one greatest fear is change. But notice…I
don’t even know how many right now. I know how hard this is to
hear. I can start getting as specific as I am and some of you
may go–“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
But notice. Generally you can. I can say something about
change and how hard it is and your whole nervous system unless
you try to grab it… your whole nervous system wants to go: “You
know. Don’t start that again because either you’re wrong or I
don’t understand it. Because change is possible. I want to
change.” Everybody says “I want to change”.
Change is the most stressful thing in the world. People
can’t even stand the thought of it. You’re not supposed to.
The one thing left off those lists about great stress. I
don’t know why did it. I can imagine if they tried to explain
it. But, the greatest stress, somewhere up there, should be–
everyone saying my own fear of my own death. Which you can look
at, people’s fear of death as being, that is, fear of the
ultimate change. Because nobody that you can find that can speak
3-D language, nobody can tell you–“Hey. We all admit that’s a
hell of a change. When you lay down and don’t get up.” But it’s
like the greatest unknown change in the world. To find out that
your job—if you are going to stick with IBM, you are going to
have to move to Norfolk.
And you may go–“God, that is stressful. Jesus.” At least
you can find what Norfolk’s about. You can talk to somebody.
You can even go there.
But dead is like the ultimate change.
Change is the stress. The fear of change. Even thinking
that change might happen. But notice the nervous system, any of
you that can hear this, right quick. The nervous system is
lined up, ignited to say otherwise. And can prove it. Or can
just absolutely dismiss talk like this.
That change has got to be possible…I want to change. You
want to change. Everybody wants to change. Why are people going
to health clubs? Why are people going to night school? Why are
people going to churches, synagogues? Why are people joining up
even with the bird watching society? That may seem low level,
but it is to change. It is to expand their…the cultural
richness of being alive, the appreciation of nature, the
fellowship of fellow bird watchers who are a fine group of men
and women. I might add…Richard Nixon, at least, was never a
bird watcher. I don’t…I just said that.
The whole nervous system says “I want to change”. The
nervous system says other people change. If you didn’t believe
that, if the nervous system believed that, as I was pointing in
other ways, no one would read anybody’s biography. Every
biography is about how I changed. That’s it.
It’s not about..You may say–“Well, it’s how…I want to
read Pavoratti’s. I want to see how a guy, I mean, got to be.
How he could learn to sing like that. How he got in that
position. How he could get to be famous.”
What you want to see is how he changed. That is, how he was
going along and he was a nobody. He was a damn fry cook in
Venice. How did he get from there? How did something happen?
How did something happen, from him going to be an overweight fry
cook to being an overweight guy with a voice that makes you want
to cry?
CHANGE! But do you want to change? Does anybody want to
change? NO, NO, NO! NO!
Kyroot already told you. I let him do it a couple of times
and I noticed that I heard no response. Even the people hearing
this on tape. I listened and I heard nothing.
Well, even I pointed out one night that anybody that has
any talent what so ever. No matter what age they are, they’re
prodigies.
Now I pulled that and I had Kyroot do it and both times is
just went “shhhh”. I assume everybody knows what a prodigy is
according to the dictionary. If not, go look it up and then try
to put that together.
Prodigies don’t change. Pavarotti didn’t change. Pavarotti
didn’t learn how to sing. Picasso didn’t learn how to paint.
So, everybody is wired up to believe that they can change
and that other people do change.
Part of the purpose of structures in life, of whatever your
interest is of you ending up not attempting to go it alone. Did
you always end up bound with somebody else? Either apparently
working for them, having them work for you.
Or if it’s not an absolute business joined in as equals in a
club. In an organization like the bird watchers. In a religion.
If you end up there then your energies are going to be finally
individually and collectively …finally be more probably directed
toward the structure itself and not what seemed to be the initial
purpose.
And anything that begins to sink that structure scares
people to death. Literally. It’s not an attack. There’s
nothing to laugh at. There’s nothing to laugh at. There’s
nothing to think about.
It is sometimes looked on as habit. Which is really cheap.
That is really a kindergarten way to have to do it, but I’ve
tried to point that out.
If you have to start there, you could be a member of a bird
watching society and you go there every second Thursday. And if
I could play with justice and I could jump out of a secret place
in the bushes and say how long have been bird watching…a member
of that society. And you say–“Well, all right. About five
years.” Do you ever watch birds anymore? “Did you know I
don’t.” Well, how about the meetings, are they that
interesting? Do you actually..does it make you want to watch
birds? “Ah, unh, unh.”
But! If next Thursday being one of your meeting nights.
You went over there and the place was burnt down or you went over
there and it said–closed and you didn’t see anybody else…to
put it mildly that is stressful. You would not like that. And
you should hear me without me having to go: You would not like
that.
It is not a sermon.
People who say “I hate my husband. I can’t stand that
bastard. He drives me nuts.” But if he drops dead, you don’t
like that. Not in any theoretical way. Not in some way of
trying to describe…all of you should know that I…alright,
I’ll take a second.
It’s got nothing to do with–“Well, he was a pretty fine
fellow and I didn’t wish him any harm.” It’s not that. Your
nervous system…you’re bound up in a smaller structure. The
structure was your relationship. Your marriage. Your
relationship, whether you’re married or not. And this person
dies. This person leaves you. The structure. Forget the
original purpose.
The original purpose of getting married or going into a
relationship with somebody was your feelings about them. The–
“lets me and you stick together and not mess up our potential gene
pools. While you sleeping around and me sleeping around and me
sleeping around. We’ll only fuck each other. Plus we like each
other and we’ll stick together. And two people in life are
stranger than one. And we can make it better. And I like you.
We need to be friends. And nobody likes to be alone.”
But then you get married. Whether you legally get married
or not. You get married then this relationship becomes a
structure. And it can go on for years and years and you two bad
mouth each other. You even punch each other out. But if one of
them leaves…. Now you people been through some of that. Just
suddenly the other one gets up and leaves. And you’ve been
bitching about her for the last two years. She gets up and
leaves. You go through a whole process. You do.
It is stressful! Any amount of change. It doesn’t matter
the kind of job you have. It doesn’t matter whether they moved
you from Philadelphia to Norfolk or from Philadelphia to San
Diego.
And it doesn’t matter that you lost your mate whether you
said–“I love my mate” or you said–“We haven’t bee in love in
the last twenty years of our marriage.” None of that matters.
It still shows up that these things–losing your mate, number
one. They say. They didn’t ask–“Did you love your mate?” “Did
you still have sex with your mate?” “Alright. Was you and your
mate in your thirties or your eighties?” None of that. It’s
simply that this structure…
There was a relationship between me and this person is
broken. Ther was no longer the original purposes of any
interest. It’s not. If they had said–“WEll, what’s the most
stressful to you on this list?” And a woman or a man checks
losing your mate. You say–“Well, has that happened to you?”
‘Yes it has.’
And you. Six years that’s the most stressful. And you
say–“Yeah.” And then if said–“Do you still love them a lot?”
The majority of people want to…”I thought this was a
psychological questionaire. What the hells that got to do with
it? You asked me if it was stressful. I said it was. You know.
You asked me twice is that the most stressful and I said it was.”
And then the second guy says–“Yeah, but… I…I just want
to know did you actually love them a lot right when they died?”
That wouldn’t have worked. That’s not the way
things…people would. They would begin to walk out.
Of course, the psychiatrist would have never thought to ask
that, because I am playing with justice. But I want you to see
that the idea of returning to what seemed to be the initial
purpose of this relationship. This structure is no longer of
importance.
It was the structure itself. If somebody would say–“I lost
my job. Now put that..I’ll put that as number two on my stress
thing.” The psychiatrist says–“Uh, well, did you like your job
when you lost it?” It would have been the same thing. They would
have gone–“Well, I don’t know. What’s that got to do with it?
You asked me what was stressful and I said I lost my job a year
ago. I’ve been with that firm for ten years and just one day I
walked in. They said, uh, Friday is your last pay check. I
still…It gives me the willies when I think about it.”
‘Oh, boy. I bet the job meant a lot to you.’
“Well, naw.”
Do you hear me? It was not the job. It was change. Do you
see in another way the purpose of structures getting built? It
is to stop the possibility of surprising, unexpected change.
It’s to stop. The reason a religion grows up around
a…apparent person somewhere. I’m saying all this apparently.
Historically, it looks like Judaism almost jumped out…I’m going
to stretch all this…from Moses. Christianity from Jesus.
Islam from Mohammed. And etc, etc.
Assuming that these were extraordinary men that Life had as
a weird piece sticking through the fabric of ordinary growth.
Just assume that for a second.
Do you see that part of the way to calm that down? Or that
perhaps these people talked to enough people at the time and
there were some other weird people hanging around there in life’s
blood stream that came around. And it was about to get out of
hand. This kind of thing can get out of hand.
So how do you calm it down? You know one time I had Kyroot
point out using my revolutionary symbolism that one way a wise
king knows how to take care of a revolutionist that’s really
giving him trouble. There’s one way that never fails.
Is you bring that sucker into the power structure,
apparently. Invite him into the palace. And say–“I’ve been
watching you. I know you’ve been fighting. We’ve had all of our
skirmishes out there in the bushes. And you’ve got some
followers and all that. I’ve been watching you all this time. I
wasn’t really trying to kill you and bend you that much. You’re
a good boy and there’s a lot to you. You’re the kind of son I
wish I’d had.”
It’s over!
You can then give that guy some Mickey Mouse job and say–
“I’m going to put you in charge. What I want…is you’re right.
Our whole operation. The way I run things. Everything can be
improved. But instead of us fighting…what you should do…I am
going to put you in charge. Your are going to be the head of the
revolutionary committee. I want you to decide the changes that
should be made. Don’t you worry about my feelings. No sir.
And once a year you come and report to me. Now you go along and
that’s your official title. And here’s a….here’s a hat and a
little medal I want you to wear. And you got an office down
here. You start a structure.”
You tell him–“If you need some people you see my prime
minister. And you tell him.” And he tells the prime minister–
“Let him have up to ten or twelve people that are not doing
anything. Take them out of prison or mental hospitals and make
them his assistants. You have the guy start a structure.” And
he’s done for. He’s no longer rebellious. Does that sound
familiar to you?
Did you start out and you had these things that you wanted
to be. Superman. Superwoman. You wanted to be as awake and
conscious as you dreamed the Buddha was or something. Where did
you end up?
Or you believed you wanted to be an author. You believed
that something in my nervous system is telling me something that
other people should hear.
Of course, I hate to use that because Life almost starts
everybody…musicians, painters and everybody as being a
goddamned critic. And so whether it was anything that was
extraordinary would have come from it is in many cases a moot
point. But still you would have started out believing that there
was something extraordinary, something out of the main stream I
might do. And what happened?
Now you might look at it another way. You can look at it
as–“Well, I had to get married. I got her pregnant. Then I had
a kid.” And from a woman’s view the same kind of thing. “Then I
ended up I had to get a job. My father died. Then I had to look
after my mother. Circumstances made me like I am.”
“I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t change things.” Do you see
that in a sense you got absorbed into the power structure. You
got sucked into the middle class. You got severed. You got
insulated from the kind of energy that young people have.
Not through some fault of yours. And it’s not supposed to
be otherwise. But you died. You died before you died. You died
as you were supposed to have died. You’re still walking around.
You’re still walking around, but it’s energy that is predictable.
It is energy that has a kind of stability to it.
What is the main complaint that adults have over children?
Teenagers? Their own? They’re hair brains. You can’t depend on
them. YOu don’t know what they are going to do next. In fact
the middle class, as long as I’m there…that one of the general
complaints about those who are of an artistic persuasion…is
that they’re kind of nuts! ” I mean I bought the guy’s paintings,
I listened to his records and at one time I went to see a show of
his and somebody slipped me in back stage. ANd that guy’s
frightening. That guy’s a fucking maniac. I wish I’d never
even…I wish I hadn’t got close to him.”
Or–“I’d been reading this guy’s books. I just…God, if I
could ljust meet him.” Then you meet him. You say hello. And he
says hello(dull voice). ANd you find out the guy is almost
apparently a walking illiterate. And you can’t believe. This is
the guy I thought was a genius.
At any rate that’s the kind of dangerous energies that’s not
to far afield. I’m not…Don’t anybody get hung up on this but
it’s not too far afield from the original, initial energies of
teenagers. That is, they have young nervous systems. And it
does something. It comes out as bering the so-called, it’s been
going on I assume all of you know, as far back as recorded
history goes. The stresses between the generations. That every
new generation comes along and to varying degrees they want to
burn down the previous one. All the way, go back to the
Sumerians, the Greeks, the Egyptians, up until today. That’s in
general. It never gets out of hand. But in general the
generation following your children. Look at what you’ve done.
You individually sometimes and our generation in toto. It’s like
you know this ain’t going to get it. This ain’t going to get it.
We’ve got to straighten things out.
You know, oft times, they’ll even say what we need is a
revolution. Which you know life can handle that bunch of
sixteen year old guys and girls talking about revolution.
It’s fun for awhile. Until you get to be twenty one and you
do go back to the temple and become a Republican.
So it’s no danger, but there’s that kind of energy there.
It is a stress and it keeps life going and you become that which
you wanted to rebel against. You have to. You become insulated
from that initial energy. You become part of the structure and
you can become part of the structure and never notice it because
you can still talk about what your original interests were. You
can dream about them. You can read about them. Which is one of
the purposes of the written word. As you can read about other
people’s………..