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Recorded by Jan Cox December 04, 2000
Notes by DB
I am going to talk tonight about what I wrote on the web site today.
I have been wanting to talk about this subject for quite awhile and today my writing just served to scratch the surface …maybe it will give me the impetus to talk about it in detail. Because …I love it.
01:00 Here is the gist of it and I have found it to be highly liberating. It is one of the delightful realizations of my life. (Aside… “Do I say that every night?…So be it“.)
01:25 You cannot think that there is something wrong …at the moment…and wake up. Or, you can’t think that something is wrong and wake up. Or, you cannot think that something is wrong and be awake. The two are not compatible. I have no illusions that my talking about it is going to make you see it immediately. It is liberating and delightful when you see it for yourself.
03:00 “Wrong” is the feeling, manifested in our head, that something is not right. Today in my writings I tried to show that there is nothing wrong out there in life. You either see this or you don’t. The moment I say this the ordinary person begins to “reel off” all they think is wrong with life…but there is nothing wrong with life.
05:25 The overwhelming majority of folks who say that they have awakened or have become enlightened say that the one thing they have learned is their depth of concern for their fellow man…their compassion towards others…the necessity to help others wake up. They claim that the whole point of enlightenment is to help their fellow man become enlightened. This implies that there is something wrong with others…something wrong with life.
06:04 I can give you my personal guarantee that these people who believe this are not enlightened. They may have had these remarkable experiences. People do have these remarkable experiences but they are of no lasting value. If you are thinking that there is something wrong with life, that people need help, that it is your duty to instruct others, that you have been called to help others to become enlightened …then you are not awake.
07:41 All of that is based upon the assumption that other people are living incorrect lives….that there is something wrong. If that is your view then you are not enlightened. You can’t awaken as long as you believe that there is something wrong with life. In it’s refined version these people hold that there is something wrong with life and there is something wrong with other people. You get past that and then you are down to, “There is something wrong with me”.
09:15 You may ask about those things that you view in life as being unequal or as unfair or you may ask why are some people born into wealth and others are born into poverty. To me that is not even a question. There is no answer to that If you can get past that point and then realize, “Well that eliminates a big burden of effort in my life. In one sense it is out of my control and none of my business”. You then realize what you realize. There is nothing amiss in life. For me this was a great day of liberation, “Ah-Ha! Now I can get down to business!”
Then I realized the problem was in me and, “Now I can devote all my attention to me“. There was only one place to turn my remedial efforts and that was on me.
15:38 But this is still mired in the idea that, “Something is wrong”. Even if it’s only within me. You may conclude that, “Previously, just a minute ago, I was not fully awake, I was not fully conscious. But now at this moment, through my remedial efforts, all that was wrong has been rectified. I have made some positive effective effort to correct that wrong”. That is not being awake. And seeing that was a great liberation for me.
18:20 Once you have realized this then the worse thing in the world can happen…even happen to you…and you don’t take it personally. Think what a relief knowing this can be. I could hear of the most horrible things in the world happening and my dogs would not even chase after those cars anymore. You have no more interest in hearing about the horrible events of life than does one who has no interest in sports care about hearing the latest scores! You simply have no interest. You don’t try to fight it or rationalize it. You simply have no interest.
21:17 We believe that being ordinary is wrong. I’m awake…I’m not…I’m awake…I’m not…I’m conscious…I’m gone…I’m here …I’m somewhere else. And it seems that every other one is wrong because from our point of view it’s wrong to be in an ordinary state. Neither state is wrong. There is very little to say after saying this. Either you get it or you don’t.
22:00 All systems have some way …self observation, trying to calm yourself, remembering yourself, chanting, etc., ways of interfering with what we call being asleep. A way of interfering with, for as long a period of time as possible, your mind being run by the collective dynamo and whatever little piece of the collective that the network sends into you. You interfere, you are aware of yourself, you are suddenly mindful and now you are “right”. You are momentarily in the “right” state. I am not arguing with that You may come out and say, “I feel better now than I did in that previous state”. But, if you have a sense, or think in your consciousness, that there is a wrong somewhere, then you are not awake and you will never get past that point.
27:00 When you see that there is nothing wrong then it is a day of great liberation. I don’t feel that even I have the full breadth of it. To my experience “seeing it” is not a one shot, one effort process or experience. I was just setting here pondering that, “There is nothing wrong with me”. And I will be perfectly truthful with you that I don’t fully understand that. Because …well there is no because…I just know that it’s true that there is nothing wrong. And I can’t prove it …even to myself.
28:33 This has nothing to do with psychological gobbly gook like, “I’m OK, You’re OK”. If we lived in a better reality there would be no modifiers applied to anyone.
I encourage you to consider this constantly…that as long as you believe that anything is wrong with you, you will never wake up, you are not doing it right. There is nothing wrong out there or in here. Upon looking inside yourself, you discover that you are always operating under the notion that something is wrong with you…or you would no longer be trying to awaken.
32:40 To believe that something is wrong in you, in your head, in your consciousness is the opposite of being awake and even the opposite of trying to be awake. It is the ultimate definition of being asleep. Or how about another variation, “The real definition of being asleep is believing that you are asleep”.
34:00 You cannot study this. There is no magical system to study. Take note that the rest of the people in the world who are trying to wake up are studying a system. But it is not possible. There is no system. The reason you can’t wake up is that the thing you are studying is the thing you are trying to study with. It’s thoughts trying to study themselves…brain cells trying to see themselves. It is thoughts trying to study themselves and they have nothing to use except other thoughts. It’s not possible, there is no system.
35:00 When you realize that nothing is wrong then a barrier is removed between you and what you should be doing. And the barrier is the belief that you should be doing something in particular…and that you were not doing it.
36:49 Regarding the external world…there is nothing out there to study that will wake me up. It is appealing to believe, “Well there are things out there that I can read that will help me and they do help me!” …But what you should be saying is, “I just enjoy it”. It is entertainment.
37:55 Once you get beyond the uselessness of the external, the only thing that I encourage anymore is for you to turn it all inside your own head. Everything is there. Everything that you want to know. In fact, that’s the only place that it is. So you realize that there is nothing in books and that there is nothing anywhere else that can help you. That even if there is someone more awake than I am that they can’t help me. They can’t make me do it… there is no trick they can pull …so now all my attention is on me. I no longer study some book or some system, I study what goes on in me. Very few people ever get to this point. A point where they know that they have everything that they need inside of them in their consciousness. Instead of saying that that’s where the problem is, you say that’s where everything I need is at.
39:50 I am now telling you that there is a place that you can get to where you realize that “that’s” not it! There is a stage beyond “that” and that is where you realize that there is nothing wrong!
I keep getting more and more states of satisfaction. The satisfaction is not in knowing more and more. In fact, I know less. The satisfaction is that I have less and less that I think about. All I can do is guess, but I guess that ultimately you just go blank and are conscious. I think it is a pretty good guess. I don’t know what your brain cells do when this happens and I am not even sure I want to be there when it happens. If you go blank you are not around are you? You are at that point a casual disinterested observer to your own life.
You look at a particular neural configuration inside you and say, “I’ve seen that guy somewhere”. But you are not interested enough to wrack your brain.
43:30 There is a place past “wrong”. Seeing things as wrong is the ultimate barrier. It’s right up there with thoughts trying to talk about themselves and they can’t. It’s beyond speaking with modifiers. Beyond making a judgment.
Jan’s Posted Daily Fresh Real News
December 4, 2000.
In celebration of this being the birthday of schonberg, picasso, freud, and ornette coleman,
I offer you the following gift that I
made with my own hands.
As long as your investigation of the waking-up thing
is based on the assumption that a crime has been committed,
and that something is definitely WRONG —
you will never wake up,
and see what is really going on.
Your thinking will forever be captivated by this
collective delusion, and all of your efforts will be
automatically channeled into
There is one gigantic mortal mind through which
life carries on all of mans thinking,
and from which is each man parceled out a share,
based on his genetics,
yet all minds are invisibly tied together in a
There is a force-fed thought in all humans that says
a crime has occurred on planet Earth,
from which men continue to suffer.
Everyone attempts to explain it — but no one can.
All they know is that — something is WRONG.
A man is certain that something is wrong in the way
other people think and behave,
and that something is similarly wrong in him.
Ordinary men generally accept this situation
as simply being how life is,
and go on about whatever business they have.
A few people throughout history however
have become so fascinated and entangled in
thinking about this that their whole existence is affected thereby.
These are the men and women who,
once they hear of the idea of, Waking-up, and,
being Enlightened, are instantly addicted.
In spite of their specialized interest,
most of such people still never get beyond the,
To them, what is wrong with other people is that
they are asleep & living in a dream,
and what is wrong with themselves is that they also are
asleep and given to passing delusions.
None of this is either so, or not so — or not not so;
it is simply how things seem to be to ordinary men
whose minds are but a part of the gigantic,
collective one, but it is a view that has no individual relevance.
Its pertinence for the few is in the fact that
as long as you think that something is wrong inside of you,
you can never wake-up to that other state of mind
wherein yours is in large part,
cut free from the purely automatic, collective one,
and your own sight becomes an original view.
No matter the joyous circumstances,
if you stop and look at this matter for just an instant,
you will always find that something inside of you
still feels that something is nevertheless, wrong:
to ever come out of the shadows,
you must simply recognize that this is a natural part of
being a human
a creature with thoughts-in-the-brain;
it is a species specific phenomenon,
and has nothing to do with you or anyone else personally.
Human thought inherently thinks that,
“something is wrong”;
it is a readily observable fact in both you,
and everyone else.
Realize it and forget about it —
regarding everyone else.
As regards you —
investigate the mater with all three eyes.
In a more advanced universe
this inquiry should take all of five or ten minutes,
but in this one, the time required is longer,
but if you never start well,
you know the finish to that sentence.
The reason that so few people ever get past,
or even realize the barrier of the,
is that no description of it even comes close to
for the means – the only means
we have FOR describing it, (thought),
IS what is, wrong.
A man whose goal in life now is to, wake up
has no doubt that his present condition is wrong.
This is inarguable, beyond question — a felt certainty.
It is from this position that everyone does,
and must begin,
but it is from this neural quagmire,
in which a swamp is up to its knees in a swamp,
that few mens minds ever emerge.
Those who have achieved a mental separation from
the involuntary collective mind of man
have spoken of this is as a gift,
and while understandable that they would do so,
the picturization is less accurate than it could be.
Waking-up is not a gift, but is the box it came in.
What is wrong is not what your thoughts say is wrong,
but the box the wrong came in.
You are asleep because something about you is wrong;
what is wrong in you is not what the wrong so
clearly seems to be, but rather the medium for the wrong
which is anything but obvious.
To your ordinary thinking — drained from the large and impersonal collective mind of man —
what is wrong in you is the same thing AS the medium
by which you are made aware OF the wrong-ness.
When something is wrong in your stomach,
your consciousness of the problem is quite obvious,
but with the sensation that there is something
wrong in your consciousness itself
the brain provides no such clear information.
That operation of your brain that produces thought
does not produce thought that can
think about itself objectively.
Thus your thoughts can say to you in your head
that something in there is not right about how they are
operating, but they cannot tell you specifically
what is wrong, nor how to change it.
Oh, everyone’s thoughts pretend to TRY,
theory after theory, notion after notion
that purport to have correctly diagnosed the problem,
and who have the solution,
but anyone with even one eye sane
recognizes all of these claims for the
harmless foolishness that they be.
No thought knows what is wrong in
the world of thought;
all your thoughts can offer is their observation that,
but anything beyond that — forget about it.
The reality of what I am verbally dancing with here
is totally beyond the scope of any verbal dancefloor,
and if from these words you derive only the idea that
all I am saying is that there is nothing wrong with you or life,
then you miss entirely the ultimately inescapable
inner reality regarding the nature OF ideas,
your ignorance of which is all that,
being asleep is.
While your thoughts & attention are focused on
what is wrong in you —
as explained and justified by your little piece of
the great collective mind,
(which, I assure you is totally without any
you not only waste your time,
but if your aim is to come out of the cave,
something worse takes place.
The sense of something-being-wrong,
blinds you, deafens you, and wraps up all of your
other senses like the brain washing technique of
isolating a man from all sensory input until his mind begins to hallucinate and create its own reality.
Again, what better description of,
living in a dream while not in a bed sleeping?!
An alert man who can just barely detect the
aroma-of-reality in what I am saying
can begin to turn his instant attention directly on the question of: Where, from inside of me,
is coming this feeling that something going on
inside of me is going on in a way that is wrong?
To one day suddenly see what I am pointing to,
which is taking place in you constantly,
and not in some faraway secret school,
or in some dusty, obscure manuscript,
is to know first hand the reality behind the fine sounding phrases of:
being Awake — being Enlightened.
There is nothing wrong with being Awake,
but neither is there anything wrong with being asleep,
and until that is understood — you cannot wake up.
..neat arrangement, huh?!
.keeps out the riff raff — hell!,
it damn near keeps out EVERYBODY!
(Ahhhhh, what wonderful words — damn near.”)